Second Hand Love

Published in blunt magazine volume 12 issue 4

If there is but one thing I can say that I've seen destroy more friendships than anything else it is the scandalous behaviour of hooking up with friends exes - the act of snaking your way into the pants of a friend's new lost love faster than you can say "on the rebound". It is a fundamental and unspoken rule of friendship that exes are banished to the dating blacklist where they shall remain until such time as the "no bang" policy has been lifted. A very noble and fair enough cause indeed, at least until you factor a little thing called "real life" into the equation.

We've all seen it happen - one guy, one girl, one "baby you're my world", one messy break up end and she's dating his best friend. People hook up every day and in this incestuously small town cesspit affectionately known as Cape Town the chances of the next in line to put their greasy mitts all over your ex not being a "friend" are about as slim as Noeleen's waistline. It would be nice to believe in knights of the round table type friendships, ones bound by a strict code of impenetrable adamantium-like honour and the sexual appetite of an impotent eunuch but let's face it, if the want for something is strong enough you're gonna take it, loyalty or no loyalty.

I've been witness to some pretty controversial break-up triangles in my time and while it goes without saying that the friendships involved were destroyed beyond any semblance of reconciliation one can't help but wonder just what a sorry, crippled state these acquaintance-ships were in to begin with.

Moral ramfications aside, one thing's for certain, making a habit of such underhanded dealings is guaranteed to make you more unpopular than a knife juggling HIV+ haemophiliac. No one likes a relationship hyena, forever lurking in the shadows just waiting for an oppurtunity to feast on the still warm carcass of yet another failed relationship, because a friend in need might be a friend indeed but a friend in your ex... well I guess that's not really a friend at all.